I Pity Da Fool!!
We should be used to it by now, but my wife and I are still amazed. What are we amazed at? We are amazed and often times floored by the pity we are shown as a family. Of course no one openly means to display pity to us but they do. There are verbal reactions and even facial reactions to the kind of life that we live. You see, my wife and I have 8 children with one on the way AND we are actually happy about it. (Go ahead and insert silent, no one can see me blog reader reaction here.)
It never fails. When our family enters a restuarant, which is not often because you can imagine how much that costs, there is a noticeable hush over the room followed by eyes that stare like they have seen a wreck they can't seem to turn away from. Thankfully there is typically a waiter or waitress that is overjoyed to serve the children and sometimes there is an older couple that will come by and tell us how well-behaved (ahem-most of the time) the children are and how they grew up in a large family. (Or at least their grandparents did back in farming days when it was proper to do so.) We are grateful for these encounters, however there is always the inevitable couple seated next to us that cannot help but to visibly count our party and then purse their lips together in disapproval. I'm never quite sure whether they disapprove of this many children or just this many children seated next to their table.
The thoughts that accompany the stares and expressions usually are not shared in the restaurant but more in the grocery stores or other public places. As you can imagine with nearly 9 children my wife looks pregnant more often than not and with looking pregnant comes the questions that prompt the inevitable comments. It starts with a cashier, an aquaintance or a friend that she runs into. You know the questions asked. Questions like, "is this your first child," from the cashier, "how many children do you have," from the aquaintance, and "are you pregnant AGAIN?!" from the friend.
Of course the questions are not filled with pity as much as the responses to our answers. "Well, bless your heart!" from the cashier, or "Don't ya'll know what causes that" from the aquaintance, or "you need to get a TV" from the friend. My personal favorite response comes from women that ask me, the husband, how many children my wife and I have. It usually sounds something like, "Oh your poor wife!" I'm always a little taken back by this one because it makes it sound like I'm the bad guy. It's as if they are thinking, "this guy must be one of these controlling husbands who is obesessed with keeping his wife oppressed by keeping her barefoot and pregnant all the time." I can almost feel them thinking with this attitude and most of the time the sarcastic sinner in me wants to smile and say, "Absolutely! I also lock her in the closet for a few hours when she starts to question my authority." I honestly admit I would like to say that just to see the shock on their faces. However God is good and He shuts my mouth the same way He shut the mouths of the lions with Daniel.
The truth is that, "I pity the fool" who would pity us. Put another way, I pity those who would think that there is anything in our lives worth pity. It is foolish to pity someone who has great wealth isn't it? Pity is for those who don't have and can't do right?
We are not wealthy when it comes to money and materials but I believe my wife and I to be some of the richest people I know based on what the Word of God tells me. For example:
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." Proverbs 31:10
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children on one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5
"Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice." Psalm 112:1-10
"Grandchilden are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers." Proverbs 17:6
This is not an exhaustive list by any means but should be enough to prove my point that, in the blessing of my family, the Lord has granted me wealth and riches that are undeserved and hopefully multigenerational.
How then can one pity this or look upon it with disgust? As I stated earlier, "I pity the fool." I believe to have a wrong attitude towards what the Bible calls a blessing is an act of foolishness. Unfortunately it breaks my heart that of all the crazy pity-filled and sometimes inappropriate comments that we get, most come from within the church and not from the world. The sad reality is that the church too often has wrongly defined the word "blessing." Most of the time when a Christian says they are blessed they are saying that everything is good and there are no problems. This is not necessarily a full definition of Biblical blessing.
"The Hebrew word most often translated “bless” isbarak, which can mean to praise, congratulate, or salute, and is even used to mean a curse.Genesis 1:22is the first occurrence, when God blessed the sea creatures and birds, telling them to be fruitful and multiply in the earth. Likewise, in verse 28, God gave the similar blessing to Adam and Eve, adding that they were to exercise dominion over creation. When God called Abram to go to the Promised Land (Genesis 12:1-3), He promised to bless him, make his name great, and through him, to bless all the families of the earth. The blessings here are plainly associated with happiness and welfare, both for Abram and others. InGenesis 22:16-18, God again blesses Abram, and adds that blessing is due to his obedience to God's commands." You can read more on a Biblical definition of blessing here.
It is interesting that some of the very first blessings from God were to animal and man alike to be fruitful and multiply. It is also interesting to note that blessing are to Glorify God and for our good. This may mean that a blessing may not look like a blessing to our modern minds. Since we commonly think that a blessing is only something that benefits us in some way we also believe that it will be a tangible benefit. In other words we often think that a blessing is shown in something that we can see, touch or feel.
Consider this. What if the blessing of children is sometimes that by raising them they naturally point out our failures? What if they have the uncanny ability to show us our sin? How many times have you gotten on to one of your children about X only to realize that X is probably something they learned from you? They tend to show us our impatience, our lack of gentleness and our harshness in high definition. Do you see? The very thing that we hate to find out is the actual blessing given to us through the gift of children. I know what some of you are thinking? "That must mean that you have a lot of patience to learn if God has given you that many children." The truth is, you are probably right.
It is difficult to have so many little ones. No one said it would be easy. However we are told that children are a blessing and we should treat them as such. Instead they seem to be the only blessing listed in scripture that we wish God would not give us in abundance. If He were to give us land or money or fame then an abundance of that blessing would be welcome, but when it comes to children we have been conditioned to believe that they are a burden when in fact the burden may be the blessing that God uses to conform us more into the image of Christ.
I am not saying that everyone in the world should have X amount of children. I am simply arguing that our culture's attitude (the same attitude that has invaded the church) is not a Biblical one. Perhaps if we start seeking the wisdom of a Biblical worldview in all parts of our lives, including children, we will begin to see the blessing of true change in our lives that sets us apart as Christians in a world that doesn't need more relevance but instead more peculiarity.
"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;" 1 Peter 2:9
It never fails. When our family enters a restuarant, which is not often because you can imagine how much that costs, there is a noticeable hush over the room followed by eyes that stare like they have seen a wreck they can't seem to turn away from. Thankfully there is typically a waiter or waitress that is overjoyed to serve the children and sometimes there is an older couple that will come by and tell us how well-behaved (ahem-most of the time) the children are and how they grew up in a large family. (Or at least their grandparents did back in farming days when it was proper to do so.) We are grateful for these encounters, however there is always the inevitable couple seated next to us that cannot help but to visibly count our party and then purse their lips together in disapproval. I'm never quite sure whether they disapprove of this many children or just this many children seated next to their table.
The thoughts that accompany the stares and expressions usually are not shared in the restaurant but more in the grocery stores or other public places. As you can imagine with nearly 9 children my wife looks pregnant more often than not and with looking pregnant comes the questions that prompt the inevitable comments. It starts with a cashier, an aquaintance or a friend that she runs into. You know the questions asked. Questions like, "is this your first child," from the cashier, "how many children do you have," from the aquaintance, and "are you pregnant AGAIN?!" from the friend.
Of course the questions are not filled with pity as much as the responses to our answers. "Well, bless your heart!" from the cashier, or "Don't ya'll know what causes that" from the aquaintance, or "you need to get a TV" from the friend. My personal favorite response comes from women that ask me, the husband, how many children my wife and I have. It usually sounds something like, "Oh your poor wife!" I'm always a little taken back by this one because it makes it sound like I'm the bad guy. It's as if they are thinking, "this guy must be one of these controlling husbands who is obesessed with keeping his wife oppressed by keeping her barefoot and pregnant all the time." I can almost feel them thinking with this attitude and most of the time the sarcastic sinner in me wants to smile and say, "Absolutely! I also lock her in the closet for a few hours when she starts to question my authority." I honestly admit I would like to say that just to see the shock on their faces. However God is good and He shuts my mouth the same way He shut the mouths of the lions with Daniel.
The truth is that, "I pity the fool" who would pity us. Put another way, I pity those who would think that there is anything in our lives worth pity. It is foolish to pity someone who has great wealth isn't it? Pity is for those who don't have and can't do right?
We are not wealthy when it comes to money and materials but I believe my wife and I to be some of the richest people I know based on what the Word of God tells me. For example:
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." Proverbs 31:10
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children on one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5
"Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice." Psalm 112:1-10
"Grandchilden are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers." Proverbs 17:6
This is not an exhaustive list by any means but should be enough to prove my point that, in the blessing of my family, the Lord has granted me wealth and riches that are undeserved and hopefully multigenerational.
How then can one pity this or look upon it with disgust? As I stated earlier, "I pity the fool." I believe to have a wrong attitude towards what the Bible calls a blessing is an act of foolishness. Unfortunately it breaks my heart that of all the crazy pity-filled and sometimes inappropriate comments that we get, most come from within the church and not from the world. The sad reality is that the church too often has wrongly defined the word "blessing." Most of the time when a Christian says they are blessed they are saying that everything is good and there are no problems. This is not necessarily a full definition of Biblical blessing.
"The Hebrew word most often translated “bless” isbarak, which can mean to praise, congratulate, or salute, and is even used to mean a curse.Genesis 1:22is the first occurrence, when God blessed the sea creatures and birds, telling them to be fruitful and multiply in the earth. Likewise, in verse 28, God gave the similar blessing to Adam and Eve, adding that they were to exercise dominion over creation. When God called Abram to go to the Promised Land (Genesis 12:1-3), He promised to bless him, make his name great, and through him, to bless all the families of the earth. The blessings here are plainly associated with happiness and welfare, both for Abram and others. InGenesis 22:16-18, God again blesses Abram, and adds that blessing is due to his obedience to God's commands." You can read more on a Biblical definition of blessing here.
It is interesting that some of the very first blessings from God were to animal and man alike to be fruitful and multiply. It is also interesting to note that blessing are to Glorify God and for our good. This may mean that a blessing may not look like a blessing to our modern minds. Since we commonly think that a blessing is only something that benefits us in some way we also believe that it will be a tangible benefit. In other words we often think that a blessing is shown in something that we can see, touch or feel.
Consider this. What if the blessing of children is sometimes that by raising them they naturally point out our failures? What if they have the uncanny ability to show us our sin? How many times have you gotten on to one of your children about X only to realize that X is probably something they learned from you? They tend to show us our impatience, our lack of gentleness and our harshness in high definition. Do you see? The very thing that we hate to find out is the actual blessing given to us through the gift of children. I know what some of you are thinking? "That must mean that you have a lot of patience to learn if God has given you that many children." The truth is, you are probably right.
It is difficult to have so many little ones. No one said it would be easy. However we are told that children are a blessing and we should treat them as such. Instead they seem to be the only blessing listed in scripture that we wish God would not give us in abundance. If He were to give us land or money or fame then an abundance of that blessing would be welcome, but when it comes to children we have been conditioned to believe that they are a burden when in fact the burden may be the blessing that God uses to conform us more into the image of Christ.
I am not saying that everyone in the world should have X amount of children. I am simply arguing that our culture's attitude (the same attitude that has invaded the church) is not a Biblical one. Perhaps if we start seeking the wisdom of a Biblical worldview in all parts of our lives, including children, we will begin to see the blessing of true change in our lives that sets us apart as Christians in a world that doesn't need more relevance but instead more peculiarity.
"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;" 1 Peter 2:9
So to the cashier, "Yes God has richly and undeservedly blessed our hearts." To the acquaintance, "Yes we know what causes that and that is a rather inappropriate question." To the friend, "we don't have a TV for a host reasons to great to list in this blog post but there is plenty of entertainment in our house and one day I am going to wish I had a remote to rewind the movie of our lives so that we might enjoy the parts that we missed along the way.
Until the next dip in the well....
Comments